I recently noticed a dream that I've had with a certain degree of frequency, over the last ten years or so. It's always the same in the basic theme, with different details each time. For whatever reason, I'm living back in Peoria, but I'm the same person as I presently am: 27 years old, with a life elsewhere. But the strangest part is that I'm in high school, back at Notre Dame High School. For some reason, the dream always takes place on the first day of school, and I have no idea where I'm supposed to go, but it doesn't really bother me. After two or three periods, I wander over to the school office, and pick up my syllabus, to find that, not surprisingly, I've already missed a class or two.
I go to classes, and the weeks pass, but there's always one class I never attend, for some reason. It's usually either a science or mathematics class. Like a blanket that's not long enough to cover my feet, my attendance can never get perfect, and predictably, I am failing in said science or mathematics class. It's usually around here that I wake up, and have to take a few minutes to reassure myself that I am independent, single, successful, and happy in Kansas City, distantly separated from Peoria Notre Dame, both temporally and spatially.
I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that I never finished college, and actually rounded it off pretty disgracefully, but something feels much more present, pressing, imminent. I think something about my present life, not related to higher education, is prompting and fueling these dreams, and the uneasiness they instill.